WHAT IS STORY WORK?
Story work is a method of engaging written narratives of harm that will help you understand your story and embrace your truest self so you are empowered to live in the fullness of your identity and calling.
Story work is a method of engaging written narratives of harm that will help you understand your story and embrace your truest self so you are empowered to live in the fullness of your identity and calling.
Before a story work session, you will be asked to write a 600–1000 word story from your childhood (between ages 4-18) about an event that marked your life uniquely through its pain. It may be a headline event such as the death of a parent or perhaps something that seems relatively insignificant like a comment by your uncle about your developing body. Small events, though seemingly minor, can symbolize many other tragedies or large events that you know to have significantly shaped your sense of being and your understanding of who you are.
Since it is the truth that sets us free, much of story work is about naming and seeing events and moments in your life more truthfully. It is nearly impossible to live in freedom without identifying with particularity how you have been harmed as well as how you have done harm to others and yourself. Story work is an invitation to confess the truth of the heartbreak of your story as well as the goodness of your story. Both the brokenness and the beauty must be named. We can reclaim only what we name. Thus, much of story work is about truthfulness.
During a story work session we will enter into the particularities of your story as you read your story aloud. This will help us enter a space where you feel the emotions of that story in the presence of others who can then provide an experience of truth-telling, attunement, containment, and repair. This does not change the past, but changes our story about the past and allows us to see and hold our story with greater clarity and truth which influences our present day and future lives. We tend to think that we are shaped by our experiences, but more truthfully we are shaped by what we believe about what we experienced. Through the story work process, we are no longer alone as we feel felt. We experience and know others are with us and for us and their kind presence changes us. We experience resurrection and redemption personally as we explore how your story fits with the gospel of the kingdom of God. In all of its brokenness and beauty our stories reveal God.
Our greatest and most important adventure in life is discovering our truest self. As Mary Oliver put it, “what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Because we interpret our daily life in the present through the lens of our past experiences, we cannot fully live in the present without first engaging our past stories. Until we engage our past stories in all of their beauty and brokenness, the harm of the past will continue to war against us in the present. If we are to know our authentic self in such a profound way that we are empowered fulfill our life’s purpose, we must first understand our stories.
In the broken world in which we live, shalom has been disrupted and we cannot avoid suffering. Salvation through Jesus Christ does not keep us from harm. Every human life is scarred by the kingdom of evil that hates the glory we embody. In its hatred evil steals, kills, and destroys the glory of God in you. We can’t change our pasts, but we can change how our past affects our present and future. And we certainly can offer care to our past brokenness. This is the hope of story work. Shalom can be restored today allowing us to live from a place where nothing is missing and nothing is broken. Story work courageously steps into past stories of heartache and as we do, we find ourselves in the very place where healing and restoration occurs.
Instead of ignoring the pain, we must listen to it as a gift that carries an important message worthy of being heard and honored. Welcoming our stories in all of their complexity, glory and tragedy is invites the truth to set us free. We write our stories because writing brings us face to face with our present life and calls us to engage in truths that are otherwise too easy to ignore. This act of naming with specificity is a compassionate and powerful step toward redemption.
As your written stories are read aloud and shared, they will be held in a safe, kind space as we dare to take this work from the head to the heart. The listener(s) will stay with the difficult emotions, bring comfort where it is needed, and bring stability to our dysregulated brains strengthening our neural connections. With strong and integrated neural connections, we are able to regulate ourselves when overcome with fear, shame, or rage. The goal is not to tell our stories to simply get over them or gain insight. Instead, we must enter these stories with honor and honesty to experience grief, anger, and forgiveness.
Grief is the body’s natural response to seeing the truth of the heartache of our story and it opens our hearts to mourn and to receive comfort. This comfort enables our hearts to envision a future and a world transformed by hope. Anger empowers us to stand against injustice. Forgiveness frees us from resentment and the accusations of evil.
Many of us rush to forgive too quickly. However, true forgiveness does not mean avoiding the painful depths of our stories. When forgiveness is used as an excuse to bypass the heartache of our stories, it becomes a form of cheap grace. We must allow the stories of our childhood to surface one by one, offering grace, care, and healing to the broken child within. We are meant to receive the care of heaven and confront the darkness of hell in our own lives, families, and the world.
Returning to particularities of our painful stories is an act of profound courage that requires seeing our story with eyes that see as God sees. As we embrace the truth held deep within us, we open our heart to remember, grieve, and ask God to engage our heartache with tenderness. We simply need to tell the truth and allow our heartache to be engaged. Story work is a slow and gentle movement that is a life-long process. It may take time to see and tell the truth about your story, but you are worth the time it takes.
Imagine you had a broken arm, but you never went to see a doctor. Without a cast the broken bone will begin to heal itself, but the arm may not heal properly which may prevent it from regaining its full function. The cast doesn’t heal the broken bone, but it provides a safe setting where the arm can rest and be held in place so that the body can naturally and properly heal itself.
This is what story work does for us. Without story work, we will most likely will find some healing or temporary relief from our sorrow and suffering, but God has so much more for us. God desires a full restoration of shalom with nothing missing and nothing broken – a place where we can thrive and flourish. Story work itself doesn’t heal us, but it provides a safe place for us receive the care of heaven as we are fully known and comforted in the midst of deep heartache.
We were made to need one another especially when it comes to healing. True connection with God and with those around us who offer a meaningful and kind presence brings healing and hope to the deep wounds in our hearts. We were hurt in relationship, and we will heal in relationship. When we share our stories with trusted guides who are able to help us name both our woundedness and goodness, we cultivate a greater understanding of ourselves and a deeper capacity to embrace our identity more fully and engage in life-giving relationships with God and others. God made us for relationship. We were created for each other.
While healing and freedom are certainly worthy intentions, they are not the end goal in life. Your healing is meant to catapult you into the world to be the person God created you to be. But you cannot know your identity and purpose without understanding your story. God takes what evil intended for harm and creates goodness, beauty, and authority in you to be utilized for the kingdom of God. Engaging our stories is a gift we give ourselves. Sharing our stories is a gift we give others by offering a glimpse of what it means to be human and of the struggles that are common to us all and inviting others into relationship. Healing is for you, but it is also for those around you. We are freed from our past for our future.
We study our stories because we hope that by learning from the past, we can create a richer future. We return to the painful narratives as we believe these tragedies offer something life-giving. We risk opening these wounds as we trust they will become our weapons. While God may not answer all our questions, and some stories may remain unredeemed until we enter heaven, his primary invitation is into relationship rather than providing us answers. If God is truly good beyond our wildest dreams and can transform evil into good, then the redemption of our life’s tragedies will be nothing short of glorious. We might not witness this redemption in our lifetime, but then again, God might choose to redeem them right now.
© True Story Coaching │ Tori Swenson